A Billion Fists

Watercolor Seaside Practice Builds Confidence, and Buoyant Bodies Float Better

Sun, 05 Apr 2026 00:00:00 GMT

I took advantage of extra free time over an Easter weekend to practice back-to-back watercolors of the same scene. Three versions. Three times the practice. These are done from a reference photo of a seaside scene from a book about Shetland knits. The source image was gloomy and gray, quite calm, actually. A fitting scene to imagine a story of a bloated billionaire's corpse gently bumped against shoreline rocks by calm waves.

Cityscape Painting Isn't as Easy as I Imagined. And an Infinity Pool's Last Swim

Tue, 31 Mar 2026 00:00:00 GMT

AI slop permeates through online image searches and it gets difficult sourcing images. There are still amazing artists who share their craft. I thank them. Click that YouTube link, "Easy Cityscape Watercolor". Watch it. Think, "that doesn't look too difficult." Try it. "Shit. It's not that easy." What is easy? Working an Archer quote into the inspirational story.

Lawns Darts, aka Jarts, Are Fun and Mostly Safe for Events with Family, Friends, and Coworkers

Sat, 21 Mar 2026 00:00:00 GMT

Oh the rush of group lawn darts. Stand in a circle facing outward and, at the same time, all yeet the jarts into the sky as high as possible. Then run to all corners of the compass. Fun. Almost dropping the cell phone in the toilette gets the heart up, but not like running from metal darts falling from the sky in unknown trajectories. Sometimes low tech is best tech.

Helicopter Pilot Makes a Hole-in-One, Coal Baron Falls to Death

Sun, 08 Mar 2026 00:00:00 GMT

How believable is it that, during a routine flyover inspection of a power plant in a helicopter, a passenger would fall out and drop straight down a smoke stack? Swish. It's not uncommon for people to fall out of helicopters in action movies, right? So a rich coal baron falling to his death down a smoke stack doesn't seem like too much of a stretch. Maybe my memory has a glitch, but wasn't the Salieri actor from Amadeus also dropped from a helicopter in Scarface? Maybe that's where I go this idea.

Boys Jump Bikes Over Dead Body Obstacle

Sat, 28 Feb 2026 00:00:00 GMT

I miss the days of riding bikes and jumping rickety ramps made out of scrap wood. Would I have jumped a dead body with my buddies if we came across one? Probably not. Who knows about kids these days and the urge to post radical stuff to the socials. If I ever feel bad about the content I post to this site, I remind myself there's greedy people out there perfectly content with starving children as long as their profits go up. That's, like, one of the tamest examples I can think of. We're a sad species in many ways.

Death at Dinner: Bisque to Die For

Thu, 19 Feb 2026 00:00:00 GMT

I found a reference photo from an old TV show that would be perfect for the diner who loves the lobster bisque. I'm still learning how to draw people. Obviously. There will be lots of uglies in the future. What I didn't realize, until a few weeks later when I watched the episode that the still came from, was that this Alfred Hitchcock Presents episode featured a secret restaurant of wealthy old men where the prized special entree wasn't a rare meat from the stepped of Africa. No. The meat in the special comes from one of their own ranks, selected by the matron at her discretion. Which I think is neat.

Neighborhood Molotov Cocktail Stand a Success

Mon, 16 Feb 2026 00:00:00 GMT

A neighborhood lemonade stand manned by children who sell Molotov cocktails. That was the idea. I initially tried and failed. And that's okay, because I'll try again. Such as this new watercolor of matches which are an integral part of arming any Molotov cocktail. Next should be a still life of a bottle with a rag in it. Or something I can try that isn't too complicated because low tech is sometimes the best tech. Wait. I just Googled How to watercolor fire. Maybe I can make a burning rag still life... no. I'd need actual fire because I lack the imagination to visualize flame and its shadows and color reflections on surfaces. Maybe I'll practice with candles first.

Bananas Up the Tailpipe: A Public Service Announcement

Thu, 12 Feb 2026 00:00:00 GMT

The 1980's buddy cop comedy Beverly Hills Cop has a scene that could be used for civil disobedience. Or teenagers who want to cause low-risk trouble. I used the memory of that scene to paint a still life of a rag and stick. I could have used a potato instead of a rag in remembrance of the potato I spied shoved up my truck's tail pipe as I walked to it one morning on my way to work (lucky eye spy). I didn't have a spud on hand, so an over-folded rag it is. Maybe after a lot more practice, next year's version will look like a rag and a stick.

Custodial Staffs' HR Complaint and a Bathroom Vanity Picture

Wed, 11 Feb 2026 00:00:00 GMT

How much remorse would you have for the person who came up with adding commercials for paying streaming subscribers if they were found drowned in a toilet? Also, I didn't want to draw or paint a toilet, so I found, what looked like, a nice vanity to paint. I learned again that color is difficult. And how much detail am I willing to implement is limited only by my patience, which is limited. So there. Sometimes my patience lasts and I can work through mistakes, or I give up. This one is about 70/30: stick with it/then give up.

Escort Leaves Dead Body, Feels Bad for the Cleaning Staff

Mon, 09 Feb 2026 00:00:00 GMT

Ever wonder if an escort snaps and kills their client because of their dumb requests? Yeah, me neither. This isn't about that. It's about how I struggle to draw from a concept that isn't clear in my head. Thankfully, the Internet is a huge repository of things I can draw from for my own detestable creative desires. Mental note: subtle curves of the body are just as difficult as facial features. I can botch a line for a door frame and it will still look like a doorway. Get the arc wrong on a person's calf and it becomes a blemished focal point.

Private Jet a Dream to Fly, Megachurch Pastor Dead

Sun, 08 Feb 2026 00:00:00 GMT

The thought of a religious pastor owning a private jet inspired me to draw a picture about it. Yes, I understand I'm going to hell for my hateful thoughts. Thanks. But really, though. Which way would his soul go? Does God dig prosperity teachings of wealthy pastors? I don't have any answers, much like I struggle with smudges on pieces like this. Again, practice. And pay attention to how different paper textures respond to pencil and smudging because there isn't enough things to remember.

Blooming Desert Flower and A Space Tourist's Last Ride by a Long Shot

Sat, 07 Feb 2026 00:00:00 GMT

The reference image had thick batches of thorns throughout and I'm not sure how to paint those in. Anyway. Bits of progress. And a lucky guy bagged a billionaire. On accident. Because when you sight in a rifle atop a desert ridge amidst blooming cacti, the beautiful scenery can be a distraction. I'll be excited when I can paint such scenes.