Archive: 22

At the rate of 0.32 posts per day, in 8,555,784 years I'll reach a billion posts. Yay me!

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That used to be a library, line up to the mind cemetery now
What we don't know keeps the contracts alive and movin'
They don't gotta burn the books, they just remove 'em
Bulls on Parade, Rage Against the Machine

Portfolio: Only the images, please.

There's also a portfolio page that lists all images sorted from oldest to new.

Third attempt at a watercolor of a gloomy Shetland seaside picture I found in a Shetland knits book. This one done in a watercolor book and spans both the left and right pages. Still didn't capture the gloomy overcast scene. I did get to use a new lavender color for the sky in all versions, which was fun. Updated

Watercolor Seaside Practice Builds Confidence, and Buoyant Bodies Float Better

I took advantage of extra free time over an Easter weekend to practice back-to-back watercolors of the same scene. Three versions. Three times the practice. These are done from a reference photo of a seaside scene from a book about Shetland knits. The source image was gloomy and gray, quite calm, actually. A fitting scene to imagine a story of a bloated billionaire's corpse gently bumped against shoreline rocks by calm waves.

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A couple of watercolor sketches of a city skyline using descending opacity and grayscale rectangles for buildings on top of a blue to yellow gradient background. Really messy rectangles. A bit childish looking. Updated

Cityscape Painting Isn't as Easy as I Imagined. And an Infinity Pool's Last Swim

AI slop permeates through online image searches and it gets difficult sourcing images. There are still amazing artists who share their craft. I thank them. Click that YouTube link, "Easy Cityscape Watercolor". Watch it. Think, "that doesn't look too difficult." Try it. "Shit. It's not that easy." What is easy? Working an Archer quote into the inspirational story.

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A couple of watercolor sketches of lawn darts. The first one is a group of jarts with dabs of green to simulate grass. The dabs of green didn't wor out. The second one is a couple of figures in a yard throwing lawn darts. It's a bit flat, too dark and not enough shadows, and a solid attempt that I don't mind. New

Lawns Darts, aka Jarts, Are Fun and Mostly Safe for Events with Family, Friends, and Coworkers

Oh the rush of group lawn darts. Stand in a circle facing outward and, at the same time, all yeet the jarts into the sky as high as possible. Then run to all corners of the compass. Fun. Almost dropping the cell phone in the toilette gets the heart up, but not like running from metal darts falling from the sky in unknown trajectories. Sometimes low tech is best tech.

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A pen and ink drawing of a helicopter flying away from a power plant in the distance. A rushed drawing with a mixture of permanent and water soluble black inks to create a wash with lines intact, then I added some red and yellow wash. I didn't have a plan and wanted to play with ink. This turned into a movie-poster style with the helicopter the main focus; not planned, poorly executed. Had fun with it. New

Helicopter Pilot Makes a Hole-in-One, Coal Baron Falls to Death

How believable is it that, during a routine flyover inspection of a power plant in a helicopter, a passenger would fall out and drop straight down a smoke stack? Swish. It's not uncommon for people to fall out of helicopters in action movies, right? So a rich coal baron falling to his death down a smoke stack doesn't seem like too much of a stretch. Maybe my memory has a glitch, but wasn't the Salieri actor from Amadeus also dropped from a helicopter in Scarface? Maybe that's where I go this idea.

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Three watercolor sketches of kids on bikes. A couple of them jumping bikes, and one of a group riding. Very remedial watercolor. New

Boys Jump Bikes Over Dead Body Obstacle

I miss the days of riding bikes and jumping rickety ramps made out of scrap wood. Would I have jumped a dead body with my buddies if we came across one? Probably not. Who knows about kids these days and the urge to post radical stuff to the socials. If I ever feel bad about the content I post to this site, I remind myself there's greedy people out there perfectly content with starving children as long as their profits go up. That's, like, one of the tamest examples I can think of. We're a sad species in many ways.

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Pen and ink wash in brown of a man at a posh restaurant dinner table with a napkin tucked in his neckline. Reference image was from an Alfred Hitchcock presents still. Updated

Death at Dinner: Bisque to Die For

I found a reference photo from an old TV show that would be perfect for the diner who loves the lobster bisque. I'm still learning how to draw people. Obviously. There will be lots of uglies in the future. What I didn't realize, until a few weeks later when I watched the episode that the still came from, was that this Alfred Hitchcock Presents episode featured a secret restaurant of wealthy old men where the prized special entree wasn't a rare meat from the stepped of Africa. No. The meat in the special comes from one of their own ranks, selected by the matron at her discretion. Which I think is neat.

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A still life of a Blue Diamond box of matches in the background with two red-covered books of  matches in the  foreground. An okay attempt. Better color than some previous pieces. Updated

Neighborhood Molotov Cocktail Stand a Success

A neighborhood lemonade stand manned by children who sell Molotov cocktails. That was the idea. I initially tried and failed. And that's okay, because I'll try again. Such as this new watercolor of matches which are an integral part of arming any Molotov cocktail. Next should be a still life of a bottle with a rag in it. Or something I can try that isn't too complicated because low tech is sometimes the best tech. Wait. I just Googled How to watercolor fire. Maybe I can make a burning rag still life... no. I'd need actual fire because I lack the imagination to visualize flame and its shadows and color reflections on surfaces. Maybe I'll practice with candles first.

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A watercolor still life of a stick blue rag, both sourced from around the house. Both painted poorly because I made the rag too difficult with folds, and failed at color control throughout the whole piece. New

Bananas Up the Tailpipe: A Public Service Announcement

The 1980's buddy cop comedy Beverly Hills Cop has a scene that could be used for civil disobedience. Or teenagers who want to cause low-risk trouble. I used the memory of that scene to paint a still life of a rag and stick. I could have used a potato instead of a rag in remembrance of the potato I spied shoved up my truck's tail pipe as I walked to it one morning on my way to work (lucky eye spy). I didn't have a spud on hand, so an over-folded rag it is. Maybe after a lot more practice, next year's version will look like a rag and a stick.

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A watercolor of a bathroom vanity with a blue/white marble counter and fancy wooden cabinet. I struggled with both of those surfaces in this watercolor. New

Custodial Staffs' HR Complaint and a Bathroom Vanity Picture

How much remorse would you have for the person who came up with adding commercials for paying streaming subscribers if they were found drowned in a toilet? Also, I didn't want to draw or paint a toilet, so I found, what looked like, a nice vanity to paint. I learned again that color is difficult. And how much detail am I willing to implement is limited only by my patience, which is limited. So there. Sometimes my patience lasts and I can work through mistakes, or I give up. This one is about 70/30: stick with it/then give up.

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Two versions of a modified "The Graduate" movie poster with Dustin Hoffman replaced by a room with a dead, slumped body. Updated

Escort Leaves Dead Body, Feels Bad for the Cleaning Staff

Ever wonder if an escort snaps and kills their client because of their dumb requests? Yeah, me neither. This isn't about that. It's about how I struggle to draw from a concept that isn't clear in my head. Thankfully, the Internet is a huge repository of things I can draw from for my own detestable creative desires. Mental note: subtle curves of the body are just as difficult as facial features. I can botch a line for a door frame and it will still look like a doorway. Get the arc wrong on a person's calf and it becomes a blemished focal point.

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A couple of small concept sketches about how to capture the demise of a wealthy space tourist on his way back to Earth. New

Private Jet a Dream to Fly, Megachurch Pastor Dead

The thought of a religious pastor owning a private jet inspired me to draw a picture about it. Yes, I understand I'm going to hell for my hateful thoughts. Thanks. But really, though. Which way would his soul go? Does God dig prosperity teachings of wealthy pastors? I don't have any answers, much like I struggle with smudges on pieces like this. Again, practice. And pay attention to how different paper textures respond to pencil and smudging because there isn't enough things to remember.

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A couple of small concept sketches about how to capture the demise of a wealthy space tourist on his way back to Earth. Updated

Blooming Desert Flower and A Space Tourist's Last Ride by a Long Shot

The reference image had thick batches of thorns throughout and I'm not sure how to paint those in. Anyway. Bits of progress. And a lucky guy bagged a billionaire. On accident. Because when you sight in a rifle atop a desert ridge amidst blooming cacti, the beautiful scenery can be a distraction. I'll be excited when I can paint such scenes.

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Quick watercolor color studies of a sunset skydive with one figure falling without a parachute. I need a lot of practice mixing and blending colors. Updated

Crypto Farmer Skydives Without Parachute, Dies

My first attempt at quick color studies after the initial sketch. Are they awesome? No. And that's okay. I found I enjoyed the low risk, quick exercise. Disconnect myself from expectation and play with swirling together colors and see what happens when applied to paper. That's a couple of steps out of the many that requires practice. Muscle memory. Oh, and don't forget the dude without the parachute because that's important. Death comes for us all. Especially for those who exit an airplane in flight without a parachute.

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Pen and ink wash of mansion staff going about their business, cleaning and answering the phone, while a gesture drawing lays on the couch (dead). Updated

Well, Something Killed That Billionaire

Something amuses me about staff murdering their boss. And, until I can draw that, especially the people part, these concepts will have to do. What was the final straw? Was it an offhand nasty comment? Complete lack of recognizing humanity in another? Was it a team effort and how many people were involved? Do the wealthy with servants ever wonder if their staff wants to kill them? Do they worry?

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Another watercolor attempt at a cab. This one is all watercolor and no pen, mostly of the back half of the checkered cab. Updated

Cab Gets New Bumper, Investor Rolled Over

I suck at watercolor and need practice. This is a couple of versions of a cab, both not awesome. Oh, and wealthy hedge funder gets rolled over. Did the idea to paint a cab come before the thought of running over a greedy person? I was so focused on trying to get a brush with just the right amount of paint and water applied to the right spots on the paper, I have no idea which thought came first. Doesn't matter. That insurance would cover a new bumper in such a situation brings me joy.

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A sketch of the Mission San Antonio de Padua, California mission using a ruling pen nib with a bit of wash. There's a bit of red on the roof and a blood pool in the mostly grayscale sketch. New

Bride Had Beautiful Mission Wedding After Billionaire's Body Cleared Away

I dig pen and wash type images and tried an ink and wash version of a California mission. Article is about a bludgeoned-to-death billionaire. Because it's easy to think of reasons to accidentally disperse with bad people, ala every. single. movie. with a hero that kills bad people. Also, I couldn't help my brain from connecting the statue to a scene from a movie and I wanted to nurture that connection. Scalp the scalpers!

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A very rushed and poorly executed forced perspective drawing of a man under a raised piano by a building with laughing faces in the window. Updated

It's a Shame About That Piano

I'm not a hardcore manga fan, though I do dig the style and the artists' ability to handle complex perspective. These are examples of how not to handle perspective. Unless the perspective is about what's more of a loss to the world: a beautiful musical instrument or a greedy dick head? Yes, murder is wrong. Except when the Grim Reaper or Fate does it like in those Final Destination flicks. That last one with the high restaurant had some neat perspective shots, maybe I should hunt down some stills.

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A couple of pen and ink with light wash concepts of a female cleaning staff dusting in the foreground while a lecherous man looks at her from the background. New

Cleaning Bag Caused A Casualty

Want to see a couple of ugly sketches of a maid? Here they are, because I need the practice. It's not that I wanted both of these to arc. Am I going insane? Do I need to draw a clock and have someone confirm I can draw a clock with hour and minute hands pointing to the correct spots? Did watching an episode of The Expanse while drawing this subconsciously skew my perspective or some wacky thing? Like, I did it once in the first image and then did it again. WTF? Anyway. Though the plot of a poor murdering a wealthy asshole is as old as time, I like the idea of regular people making the world a better place.

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A couple of concept sketches of waitstaff carrying plates and knives to a table in a restaurant. The intention is to imply the customers will be murdered. New

Death at Dinner, Too: More Bisque

These are a couple of sketches of waitstaff with subtle knives. I wised up and decided to use stock photos for a crutch. Why would I feel bad about that, I don't know. Should I feel bad about thinking up images to create and stories about death to go along with them? I blame horror movies! That's it. Because, in my head, the blood splatter of an accidental stabbing of a patron by waitstaff showers about like the severed limbs did in the club scene from Kill Bill.

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Second attempt at a watercolor of a grazing pasture I pass by frequently. Picture taken in late summer. New

Forgot the Body, a Watercolor of a Grazing Pasture

I pass by a beautiful grazing pasture with a small river frequently and, ever since taking up art, have wanted to paint it. I'm not good at watercolor. And that's okay. Did I intend to paint this pasture with the forethought it'd go on this site and be related with a story about wealthy death? No. And that's okay, too; my site, my rules.

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Rough pencil sketches of youths, one sitting cross legged and the other standing facing away. All are attempts at figures from a forced perspective of looking down at them. Updated

Kids Will Be Kids, With Drones

Who misses being a delinquent youth that causes trouble? The thought of today's youths causing havoc with drones amuses me. These sketches are about one idea. Maybe, one day, I'll pick up a newspaper and read about some gifted youth who developed an open-source tracking and payload delivery system for drones armed with water balloons. And that system gets used on the regular to spread mayhem among the wealthy in their own backyard.

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Rough, crude sketch of a guillotine using a modified Pilot parallel nib fashions in a ruling pen and shoved in an Opus 88 fountain pen. Updated

The First Sketches That Inspired This Stupid Site, Billionaire Beheaded

The sketch and article that inspired this silly site: a crude drawing of a head in a noose. And an article about a beheaded billionaire. But why? I don't know. Maybe the angst of growing older and things not getting better and I look around at the shitty things the wealthiest among us do for greed and... It's fucking frustrating. So I'll learn to draw and paint and other creative tasks away from the computer and post all the nonsense I want to post because I can.

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