Blooming Desert Flower and A Space Tourist's Last Ride by a Long Shot
ARIZONA, December 04, 2025 (ABF Newswire) Randy Mazurek didn't expect to bag a billionaire when sighting in his rifle and that's exactly what happened.
According to his own account, Randy, training for an upcoming long range rifle competition, was perched on a ridge with his rifle for target practice. A sudden involuntary sneeze at the exact wrong moment triggered a round to fire off toward the landing sight of a space capsule which had just landed. For the poor billionaire who stepped out of the capsule at the wrong time, a quick death as the bullet ripped through his chest.
"I pick that spot because there's some lovely cacti that I sometimes catch during a bloom. Like today!" Randy shared. "After the shot, I slung my rifle and headed down to the scene. The security detail were obviously startled and had their weapons out and pointed in the general direction of where I was. Thankfully, they didn't see me as a threat."
Dominic Townsend, head of the space tourist company's security, greeted Randy with a grin and commented "you bagged a billionaire."
"Accidentally," Randy replied.
"Yes. Accidentally," reassured Dominic.
The investigation concluded that the death was an accident by stray bullet.
The deceased was an executive for a Silicon Valley surveillance company that recently won a US government defense contract. The company's product is simple: it vacuums up everything already known about you, including your bank transactions, medical records, social media posts, browsing history, location data, and whatever data brokers have been quietly selling about you for years. The data is stored in a searchable dashboard any government analyst can pull up in seconds. No warrant required. Following the news of the executive's death, shares dropped two percent before recovering on reassurances from the board that the existing government contracts would be unaffected.