Escort Feels Bad About the Dead Body Left for Cleaning Service
NEW YORK, NEW YORK, December 11, 2025 (ABF Newswire) Brittany (last name withheld) wasn't sure how to approach the hotel's cleaning staff to let them know about the mess she left in her client's room.
"'Hey, there's a dead body to clean up!' isn't something you spring on someone, ya know?" remarked Brittany. "At least there wasn't blood."
Brittany's recount to the police was terse. "It was the sitting on his face portion of his kink after we had finished the part where I tell him his farts don't stink as I tickle his bum with a feather. I guess wasn't paying attention and suffocated him."
The deceased's body was taken by the coroner and the cleaning crew only had to change the sheets. Police ruled the death an accidental suffocation.
The deceased was a wealthy food and supplement entrepreneur. His company was recently investigated for selling tainted baby formula with dangerously high levels of lead and mercury. When the investigation concluded, the fine worked out to about 1.65% of current revenue. The company's Q1 earnings reports are expected to show record profits.
The deceased had also recently made headlines when his health app which was bundled by default onto 40 million smartphones as part of a carrier deal he negotiated personally. The app was found to be selling users' detailed dietary and supplement purchase histories to health insurance companies. The insurers used the data to secretly raise premiums or deny coverage to customers whose eating habits an algorithm had flagged as risky. Users had technically consented by agreeing to a 14,000-word terms-of-service document written by lawyers specifically to obscure this arrangement.