Local Band Kills It At 16 Year-Old's Birthday Bash
Image Credit: My Id and Ego.
Muddy like my thoughts. There's always that first picture, like a warm-up lap I throw up running. They're all muddy. Why can't I shut my head off and focus? I haven't found the off switch. Ear goggles help, though I'm too lazy to cart them around. Sigh. So much friction to life. See? Lazy.Hillsborough, California. July 7, 2026 (ABF Newswire) A CTO at a local Silicon Valley tech company perished during an epic birthday bash for his daughter's 16th birthday party. And an amazing set by a popular local band made the event even more legendary.
The evening's festivities started like any other posh teenager's party at a Hillsborough mansion: with a bunch of rowdy teenagers doing rowdy teenage things. That is, until the surprise band took the backyard stage. That's when the evening got an adrenaline shot.
"I had no idea my dad got Shifty Lizards to play my party!" beamed the birthday girl. "It was fucking insane. Cory's so fucking fine."
Image Credit: My Id & Ego.
The rocks of the second one pleases me. What's funny is I can't replicate that second one even if I wanted. Try harder! That doesn't help. More practice. Focus. Fuck that. Just do it already. Sigh. If only.The local punk band, Shifty Lizards, were an unannounced act at the party. When the evening's MC took the back-yard stage around 8pm to announce that they're about to take the stage, mayhem ensued when about 200 punch drunk teenagers gunned it for the state area.
Unfortunately for the socialite's dad, who was checking his phone by the marble fountain at the backyard patio, the rush of young bodies knocked him over toward the fountain where he hit his head on the marble edge. The head trauma caused a hemorrhage and he expired before the stampede of kids abated.
The man was recently lambasted over social media when a video of an all hands meeting surfaced where he told the company's staff that "no, productivity increases with AI will not result in any free time" and all productivity gains must be invested into the company. The company would not entertain a 4-day work week.
"Ha ha! Fish out of water!" pointed one snarky kid in the voice of Nelson from The Simpsons as he ran by the body as it convulsed a couple of times.
Emergency medical services were eventually called when an employee of the event's catering service stumbled on the body, quite literally.
"So I was just trying to not drop anything amid the rush of maniacs and I tripped over this body," recalled Michelle Wang. "Thankfully I caught myself. I hate cleaning up messes. I alerted my boss and went on with my duties. Dead bodies aren't my thing. I'm sure he called the medical people."
Shifty Lizards's set lasted about an hour and ended in raucous applause. Fronted by 18 year-old lead singer and guitarist Cory Marin, the band sound like a love child of Primus and NOFX, a groovy progressive sound with angsty and humorous lyrics. The band's two other members, bassist, Jerry Dougherty and drummer, Tommy Correa, provide an amazingly loose yet tight rhythm to Cory's high-spirited antics. Teenagers themselves, they put on a great live show.
After the band left the stage, the party quickly cleared out as the guests made their way to the waiting busses for a chauffeured trip to the after party in San Francisco.
As she boarded one of the party busses, the birthday girl couldn't contain her smile, one that could be seen from orbit.
"This night fucking rules! Oh, you mean my dad. Yeah, I'll be fine. I'm rich."